ShowBiz: Gossip:  POLICE CLOSE WHITNEY HOUSTON'S CASE, NO FOUL PLAY... ALSO, THE 911 CALL IS MADE PUBLIC... AND, BOBBI KRISTINA SMOKING A BONG! [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Police in Beverly Hills closed the case on Whitney Houston's death and found that there weren’t any signs of a.

The decision was made after police looked at Whitney's full autopsy report, which said her death was caused by accidental drowning. Coroner's officials ruled heart disease and cocaine use also contributed to her death.

Police had already been saying that they hadn’t found any signs of foul play in her death.

SOURCE


RELATED: Whitney Houston's Now-Famous 911 Call

Media outlets posted the 911 call made moments after Whitney Houston's body was found in a bathtub at the Beverly Hilton hotel.

The caller ID'ed himself as a member of the Beverly Hilton security team. He told the 911 operator about a "46-year-old female found in the bathroom."

The caller explained that he was told about the situation by an "irate" woman who called security from the room. The security officer also told the dispatcher he was under the impression Whitney wasn’t breathing.

The 911 operator said emergency personnel would be sent to the hotel ASAP, but it was too late.

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RELATED VIDEO: Watch Whitney Houston's Daughter Bobbi Kristina Caught Smoking Pot Out Of A Bong!

A video shows Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, smoking marijuana from a three-foot-tall bong, inhaling the smoke so deeply that she nearly fell in a coughing fit!

Bobbi Kristina was apparently partying with friends who attend college in Georgia in 2011, when the video was taken.

A source said: “Bobbi Kristina was staying with friends at the school and she brought along a big bag of pot for the party. The party was well underway by the time I got there around 11 p.m. When I left at 6am the next day, she was still partying hard. Between tokes, Bobbi was drinking shots of Grey Goose and Skyy Blue vodka, and sipping a mixed vodka drink. She’s obviously a seasoned partier.  With the amount of pot and alcohol she was using, I would have passed out, but she was still going strong."

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ShowBiz: Gossip:  THE DRAMA THAT IS.... LINDSAY LOHAN: HOTEL WORKER 'SAW HER GET IN THAT FIGHT' [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

A man who worked at the Standard Hotel in Hollywood the night Lindsay Lohan allegedly attacked a woman claims he saw Lindsay there, and even broke up the fight.

A woman (Marisa Dugas) went to the L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. and filed an incident report, claiming she approached Lindsay's table and started talking to a guy, and Lindsay allegedly pushed and shoved her. Lindsay says she was at home the entire evening.

The man who worked that night tells TMZ he saw Lindsay inside sitting with a group of people. He says the woman sat down near them and began speaking with one of the guys. People in the group started throwing ice at her, the woman got upset and a scuffle erupted. He says Lindsay was part of the scuffle and he broke it up.

The woman was escorted out of the club, where she cried hysterically and then said Lindsay hurt her, but she refused medical attention.

There are no pictures, but the man says there is a surveillance video showing the back of the hotel, where Lindsay pulled in and later left. 

Sources say the L.A. County Sheriff's Department has already requested the surveillance tape three times from the hotel but management is refusing to hand it over. It's unclear why.

TMZ

ShowBiz: Gossip:  DONE DEAL: MARC ANTHONY FILES FOR DIVORCE FROM JENNIFER LOPEZ [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Marc Anthony has filed for divorce from Jennifer Lopez.

Their separation date is listed as "to be determined," but they publicly announced their breakup in July.

Marc Anthony cites irreconcilable differences, and requests joint legal and physical custody of the couples' 4-year-old twins Max and Emme. He is asking the court to deny her spousal support, should it be requested from Lopez.

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ShowBiz: Gossip:  KANYE WEST THINKS KIM KARDASHIAN IS "HIS BEYONCE"... FOR REALZ [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

A pal tells Us Weekly, out now, that Jay-Z's close friend and collaborator Kanye West, 34, has fallen "genuinely head over heels" for Kim Kardashian:  "It's not a PR stunt."

According to the pal, "They're perfect for each other. He thinks she's his Beyonce!"

Kanye pursued Kim "for a long time."

Meantime, a source close to Kim says, "Now that Kim has gotten over the Kris drama . . . she sees how much Kanye loves her".

Source

ShowBiz: Gossip:  JENNY MCCARTHY AND NFL STAR BRIAN URLACHER SPOTTED ON A DATE [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Jenny McCarthy and Brian Urlacher were spotted on a date in Beverly Hills on Tuesday night. 

The actress and Chicago Bears linebacker were spotted eating together at a restaurant and tried to sneak out the back but were caught by the paparazzi. 

Both of their reps wouldn’t comment on the date. 

Urlacher has dated celebrities in the past including Paris Hilton. 

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ShowBiz: Gossip:  MR. BIG HAS A REAL-LIFE MRS.... CHRIS NOTH GETS MARRIED IN HAWAII [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

“Sex and the City” star Chris Noth married his longtime fiancée Tara Wilson on April 6th in Hawaii. 

The couple has been engaged since 2009 and has a 4-year-old son together. 

They met when she worked at his bar in New York City.

Story

ShowBiz: Gossip:  UNDERAGE 'HUNGER GAMES' STAR SPOTTED AT HOLLYWOOD BAR [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

"Hunger Games" star Alexander Ludwig was caught leaving a bar in Hollywood on Tuesday night… problem is he’s only 19-year-old. 

(In the movie, he's the hunky blonde challenger to Jennifer Lawrence.)

Ludwig was spotted at The Sayers Club and was later caught by paparazzi covering his face leaving the bar.  A spokesperson for the bar said when security spotted the actor inside the club he was asked to leave.

The California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control opened an investigation into the bar due to the photos because only adults over 21 are only allowed in. 

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ShowBiz: Gossip:  (IF ANYONE CARES)...JUDGE TOSSES $50M SUIT AGAINST MICHAELE SALAHI, NEAL SCHON AND HIS BAND... JOURNEY [2012-04-12 01:00:00]


A judge has tossed a $50 million lawsuit filed by infamous White House-crasher Tareq Salahi against his estranged wife Michaele, her new beau Neal Schon and Schon's band Journey.

The judge found Tareq's $50 million alienation of affection lawsuit to be "deficient" and dismissed all counts without prejudice.

Tareq will have 21 days to amend and re-file, but it is unclear whether or not he will take advantage of this opportunity.

Meantime, Michaele's counterclaim for defamation against Tareq continues forward.

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ShowBiz: Gossip:  (GOOD NEWS, GUYS)... PETRA NEMCOVA IS BACK ON THE MARKET [2012-04-12 01:00:00]


Model Petra Nemcova has split from her fiancé, British actor Jamie Belman.

They announced their engagement in January 2011.

Nemcova was previously engaged to photographer Simon Atlee, who was killed in the 2004 Asian tsunami disaster.

Source

ShowBiz: Gossip:  TODAY'S CELEB BIRTHDAYS-- 4/12/12 [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

~~David Letterman is 65.
~~Actress, Claire Danes is 33 (Home For The Holidays, Romeo and Juliet, The Rainmaker, Les Miserables, Mod Squad Movie '99, Polish Wedding, Stage Beauty, Shopgirl, The Family Stone, Evening; Homeland)
~~Actress, Shannen Doherty is 41 ( Beverly Hills 90210's Brenda Walsh, Mallrats, Charmed's Prue Halliwell 1998-2002, Scare Tactics host, North Shore)
~~Actor, Andy Garcia is 56 (The Untouchables, Godfather III, Coyote Ugly, Ocean's Eleven, Twisted, Ocean's Twelve; many more)
~~Model/actress, Brooklyn Decker (Just Go with It) is 25 (married to tennis star Andy Roddick)
~~Actor, Ed O'Neill is 66 (Married with Children's Al Bundy; Modern Family's Jay Pritchett)
~~Author, Tom Clancy is 65 (The Hunt For Red October; Patriot Games; Clear and Present Danger; many more)
~~Actress Jennifer Morrison (Once Upon a Time) is 33. (House M.D.)
~~Actress, Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) is 18 (Hanna; The Lovely Bones)
~~Actress, Marley Shelton is 38 (Pleasantville; Sin City; Planet Terror; Grindhouse; Scream 4)
~~Actor, Nicholas Brendon (Criminal Minds) is 41 (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
~~Singer/actor, David Cassidy is 62 (The Partridge Family's David Partridge)
~~Actress Suzzanne Douglas ("The Parent 'Hood") is 55.
~~Actor Dan Lauria ("The Wonder Years") is 65.


MUSICALLY:

~~Singer-guitarist Brendon Urie (of Panic at the Disco) is 25.
~~Musician, Herbie Hancock is 72
~~John Kay (of Steppenwolf) is 68.
~~Singer/guitarist Pat Travers is 58.
~~Singer Art Alexakis (of Everclear) is 50.
~~Bassist Guy Berryman (of Coldplay) is 34.
~~Singer Nicholas Hexum (of 311) is 42.
~~Singer Amy Ray (of the Indigo Girls) is 48.
~~Rapper, Mellow Man Ace is 45
~~Singer J.D. Nicholas (of The Commodores) is 60.
~~Musician, Willie Pernell (Archie Bell & The Drells) is 67
~~Singer, Alexander Briley (the "G.I." in the Village People) is 56
~~Guitarist Will Sergeant (of Echo and the Bunnymen) is 54.
~~Country singer Vince Gill is 55.
~~Country Musician, Deryl Dodd is 48

ShowBiz: Movie News:  SOME SCREENWRITER'S SCRIPT IS REJECTED, SO HE SLAMS MEL GIBSON FOR HATING JEWS, JOHN LENNON AND HIS BABY MOMMA [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Warner Bros. has put Mel Gibson's movie about the biblical figure Judah Maccabee on hold after rejecting the screenplay written by Joe Eszterhas.

After hearing the news, the screenwriter blew a gasket, accusing Mel Gibson of “hating Jews” and using the writer to deflect his anti-Semitic reputation.

Eszterhas said, Gibson announced the project “in an attempt to deflect continuing charges of anti-Semitism which have dogged you, charges which have crippled your career.”

He added:  “I've come to the conclusion that the reason you won't make ‘The Maccabees' is the ugliest possible one. You hate Jews.”

And he wasn't done.

In his 9-page letter,  Eszterhas claims Mel once ranted about John Lennon, "I'm glad he's dead.  He deserved to be shot.  He was f**king messianic.  Listen to his songs!  Imagine.  I hate that f**king song.  I'm glad he's dead."

Eszterhas claims Mel said said some awful things about his ex, Oksana Grigorieva. The writer claims Mel said, "I want to f**k her in the ass and stab her while I'm doing it."

Mel fired back, claiming the letter is a pack of lies.

HERE'S MEL GIBSON'S RESPONSE:

Joe,

I have your letter. I am not going to respond to it line by line, but I will say that the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to me in your letter are utter fabrications. I would have thought that a man of principle, as you purport to be, would have withdrawn from the project regardless of the money if you truly believed me to be the person you describe in your letter. I guess you only had a problem with me after Warner Brothers rejected your script.

I will acknowledge like most creative people I am passionate and intense. I was very frustrated that when you arrived at my home at the expense of both Warner Brothers and myself you hadn't written a single word of a script or even an outline after 15 months of research, meetings, discussions and the outpouring of my heartfelt vision for this story. I did react more strongly than I should have. I promptly sent you a written apology, the colorful words of which you apparently now find offensive. Let me now clearly apologize to you and your family in the simplest of terms.

Contrary to your assertion that I was only developing Maccabees to burnish my tarnished reputation, I have been working on this project for over 10 years and it was publicly announced 8 years ago. I absolutely want to make this movie; it's just that neither Warner Brothers nor I want to make this movie based on your script.

Honestly, Joe, not only was the script delivered later than you promised, both Warner Brothers and I were extraordinarily disappointed with the draft. In 25 years of script development I have never seen a more substandard first draft or a more significant waste of time. The decision not to proceed with you was based on the quality of your script, not on any other factor.

I think that we can agree that this should be our last communication.

Mel

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ShowBiz: TV News:  $15-$16 MIL.... BRITNEY SPEARS IS JOINING SIMON COWELL'S "X FACTOR" [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Britney Spears is joining “The X Factor” and will be getting paid at least $15 million for the season. 

The pop star agreed to be a judge on the Simon Cowell show but the deal hasn’t been signed yet.

She will get $15-$16 million for the show… approximately $13 million to judge alongside Cowell and record executive LA Reid and the rest as a bonus for performing on the show. 

Spears will take over for Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger who were let go after just one season. 

Story

ShowBiz: TV News:  'AMERICAN IDOL' RECAP: THE TOP 7 PERFORM [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

R&B artist Akon served as the celebrity mentor last night on "American Idol" as the final seven performed songs from this decade.

Skylar Laine kicked off the show taking on former Idol contestant Kellie Pickler's "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You". Skylar received overwhelmingly positive feedback from the judges.

Colton Dixon was next, performing Skylar Grey's "Love the Way You Lie".  The surprising rendition of the hit earned Colton high praise/props from the judges.

Next, Jessica Sanchez showcased her impressive vocal range as she performed "Stuttering" by Jazmine Sullivan. Randy Jackson called the performance "superb," telling the 16-year-old she slayed "the biggest fish of the night."
 
Joshua Ledet followed with Bruno Mars' "Runaway Baby", after previous Idol winner Fantasia wished him a happy birthday. The performance was a hit with the judges.

Hollie Cavanaugh chose Pink's ballad "Perfect", and Randy told her that she definitely "redeemed" herself this week. Steven Tyler was not so impressed, telling Hollie her performance "kind of laid there tonight."

Phillip Phillips sang Maroon 5's "Give a Little More".  Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson found it to be "underwhelming."

Last up, Elise Testone received a special greeting from actor Jason Segel who called her his favorite of the competition. Elise performed Lady Gaga's "You and I" which impressed the judges. 

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ShowBiz: TV News:  FIRST TEASER FOR CHARLIE SHEEN'S 'ANGER MANAGEMENT' [2012-04-12 01:00:00]


The first teaser was released for Charlie Sheen’s "Anger Management".

The promo riffs on the death of "Two and a Half Men"‘s Charlie Harper and rebirth of Charlie Goodson.

ALSO:
 
It was announced that Charlie Sheen's ex-wife Denise Richards will make a guest appearance in his upcoming FX comedy series.

Denise will play Lori, the new business partner of Charlie’s onscreen ex, Jennifer (Shawnee Smith).

"Anger Management" is set to debut on Thursday, June 28 at 9/8c with back-to-back episodes.

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ShowBiz: TV News:  THE NINTH PERSON TO LEAVE "SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD", WAS... [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Chelsea won the immunity challenge.

The survivors were tethered to a bucket of water while they had to balance on a small piece of wood. They were tempted with food. Jay thought he was safe, so he stepped down for chicken wings and beer.

The girls plotted to cast votes against Troyzan and cast a few against Jay, just in case. Troy used his immunity idol and Jay was the ninth survivor to leave the game.

ShowBiz: TV News:  ***TV GUESTS LINEUP FOR TODAY & TONIGHT*** [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Show— Chris Diamantopoulos, Feist

Late Show with David Letterman— Billy Crystal, Alabama Shakes

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon— Tina Fey, John Slattery, David Chang

Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson—Judd Apatow, Katherine Jenkins

Last Call with Carson Daly-- Guy Pearce, "Beware of Mr. Baker", Lee Fields and the Expressions

ABC's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'— Danny McBride, Dianna Agron, the Shins

Today Show—Adam Levine; Wilson Phillips.

Good Morning America— TBA.

CBS This Morning— Director James Cameron; comic Ricky Gervais.

Live With Kelly— Laura Linney, Bradley Whitford, Chrissie Miller, guest co-host Joel McHale

The View— Tina Fey, Shooter Jennings, Renee Graziano, Dr. Michael Fiorillo

The Talk— Edie Falco, Dr. Ian Smith, guest co-host Khloe Kardashian Odom

The Ellen DeGeneres Show—Maya Rudolph, Josh Bowman, Karmin

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART, Comedy CentralEsperanza Spalding

THE COLBERT REPORT, Comedy Central—Ben Rattray

Chelsea Lately — Chris Colfer, Jeff Wild, Arden Myrin, Brad Wollack

CONAN, TBS — Jim Gaffigan, Arctic Monkeys

Music News: Pop:  (ALMOST OFFICIAL)... BRITNEY SPEARS SET TO GET AROUND $15 MILLION TO BECOME A JUDGE ON "THE X FACTOR" [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Britney Spears is very close to making it official that she will become a judge on the upcoming season of "The X Factor".

Fox and Britney's camps are yet to comment, but E! Online reported that Britney and producers of the show have agreed on a $15 million salary for Britney to join the show as a judge.

If it happens, Britney will be the highest paid judge on reality TV, beating out Jennifer Lopez‘s $12 million she gets for her work on "American Idol".

Britney had originally been offered $10 million to join the show for its second season, but her team counter-offered by demanding $16 million, so they compromised at $15 million.

A source said: “All they need to do now is work out the smaller points. The fact the money is now set, means that there is nothing stopping this from becoming a reality."

It also looks like Britney will be able to drive to work with her fiancé Jason Trawick. Jason will apparently come on board The X Factor as a producer.

The source said: “Jason is expected to be there every day Britney is on set. He is her rock and will help guide her through the process. He is the person she trusts the most.”

SOURCE

Music News: Pop:  VIDEO: LANA DEL REY RESPONDED TO AXL ROSE DATING RUMORS [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Lana Del Rey addressed recent online rumors that her and Axl Rose are dating—by wearing a special t-shirt.

Lana played an intimate set in London in front of around 150 competition winners. She already had people wondering about the relationship after she walked out on stage wearing a Guns N' Roses T-shirt.

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Music News: Pop:  HIGHLIGHTS FROM JUSTIN BIEBER'S "SEVENTEEN" INTERVIEW…PLUS, HE TOLD A ONE DIRECTION MEMBER TO STAY AWAY FROM SELENA GOMEZ! [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

On fans’ disapproval of his relationship with Selena: “Everyone has haters, so you always have to deal with the negativity and be positive about it. I don’t think it’s nice; I’d rather they be nice, but at the end of the day I don’t let it affect me."

On being one heck of a boyfriend: “I think it’s important to make all women feel like they’re princesses because every girl is a princess, I’m serious.”

Could a Justin and Selena duet be in the works?: “Yeah. I love her music, so maybe we could collaborate.”

On knowing who his real friends are: ”I don’t let anybody close to me. I just rock with my old friends, Ryan and Chaz. I’m happy with the friends that I have.”

On his much talked about hair: "I just wanna be able to rock anything and not really care — whether it’s long or short, buzzed, or waxed over. I’m not just going to be known for my hair.”

On his upcoming album: "I just want to grow my audience and have more people listen to my music who might not have listened to it before, so that’s kind of my goal. But I still want people who were listening to my last album to listen to this one. You never want to lose fans; you just want to gain fans.”

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RELATED: Justin Bieber Tells One Direction’s Niall Horan—"Don’t Flirt With Selena Gomez"

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are in love, so when One Direction member Niall Horan hit on her at the 2012 Kids’ Choice Awards, Justin stepped up to defend his woman!

Justin was super-mad when he saw Niall flirting with Selena.

A source told Star: “Niall made a beeline for Selena and poured on the charm. When he looked into her eyes and said, ‘You’re beautiful,’ Selena melted.”

“Justin was stewing while it went down. He was ready to explode. Justin took Niall aside and warned him to keep away from Selena.”

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Music News: Pop:  AUDIO: LISTEN TO A NEW B.O.B. TRACK WITH TAYLOR SWIFT--"BOTH OF US" [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Music News: Pop:  (IT'S OFFICIAL)...MADONNA BEAT OUT LADY GAGA FOR THE BIGGEST 2ND WEEK SALES DROP FOR A NO. 1-DEBUTING ALBUM [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

This week, Madonna's "MDNA" earned an unwelcome honor—the set is the biggest second-week percentage sales drop for a No. 1-debuting album since Nielsen SoundScan began tracking sales in 1991.

The album slid from No. 1 to No. 8 on the Billboard 200 chart with a 86.7% sales decline. It went from selling 359,000 copies to 48,000 in just one week.

The numbers even passed the record set by Lady Gaga's "Born This Way," when it fell 84.27% in its second week. "Born This Way" sold 1.11 million copies in its debut week and followed with 174,000 in its second week.

"MDNA's" bug fall was expected because its debut was helped by sales from a concert ticket/album promotion as well as preorders from iTunes.

The biggest second-week drop for a top 10-debut was for the rock compilation called "The Edge" in 2010. It sold 53,000 when it opened at No. 4 and then fell by 87.2% to No. 81.

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Music News: Pop:  ROBIN GIBB TOO SICK TO ATTEND TITANIC CONCERT, IN THE HOSPITAL [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Bee Gees star Robin Gibb was too sick to attend the London premiere of "The Titanic Requiem," which was his first classical work. He's now in the hospital.

Gibb composed the symphonic piece with his son, Robin-John Gibb and was scheduled to perform a new song during the premier concert at The Royal Albert Hall.

But in a message read out to the audience, Robin-John said his 62-year-old father is still in hospital.

He said: "He sends all his love. We are all praying for him and hoping he has a speedy recovery."

Robin Gibb's publicist said he is in stable condition in the hospital. There weren’t any more details. Gibb had intestinal surgery last month and was hospitalized late last year for stomach and colon problems. He hasn’t said what his illness is, but admitted that a growth on his colon has been removed.

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Music News: Pop:  NICKI MINAJ'S "ROMAN RELOADED" DEBUTED AT NO. 1 ON THE BILLBOARD 200 ALBUMS CHART [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Nicki Minaj landed her second No. 1 album on the Billboard 200 album chart with "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded". The set sold 253,000 copies in its debut.

"Roman Reloaded" replaced Madonna's "MDNA," which fell to No. 8 with 48,000. It debuted at No. 1 last week with 359,000 copies. It’s the largest second-week drop for a No. 1-debuting album since Nielsen SoundScan started tracking sales in 1991.

Adele's "21" album moved up a spot to No. 2 with 153,000 copies sold.

Rascal Flatts' "Changed" started at No. 3, Lionel Richie's "Tuskegee" fell two spots to No. 4 and One Direction's "Up All Night" is up one to No. 5.

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Music News: Pop:  FUN. MADE DIGITAL SALES HISTORY IN THEIR SIXTH WEEK AT NO. 1 ON THE BILLBOARD HOT 100 [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Fun.'s "We Are Young," featuring Janelle Monae, stayed on top of the Billboard Hot 100 songs chart for a sixth week. By doing that, it becomes the first song ever to have six weeks of 300,000 or more downloads sold. This week, the track sold 390,000 downloads.

Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know," featuring Kimbra moved up a spot to No. 2 with 311,000 downloads sold.

The Wanted moved up a spot to No. 3 with "Glad You Came", One Direction moved from 9-4 with "What Makes You Beautiful" and Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend," fell from 2-5.

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Music News: Pop:  UPDATE: MELISSA ETHERIDGE'S EX RESPONDED TO BURNING THEIR CHILD WITH A CIGARETTE [2012-04-12 01:00:00]

Melissa Etheridge doesn't want to give her ex-partner Tammy Lynn Michaels any extra money in monthly child support payments so she filed papers in court claiming her ex accidentally burned their young son with a cigarette.

In a poem called "Laundering Secrets," Tammy addressed the cigarette burning incident and explained that while she was "doing her bad habit," their son ran up at her playing "Invisible Monster Tackling Mommy."

Tammy also went on to say that her son "has insane pain tolerance" and that Melissa was told immediately.

Here is the full poem:

standing outside, all that clean fresh air  of Los Angeles (smog-free, of course)

but I'm standing outside nonetheless because dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn I had a cigarette and I was smoking

now kids, they don't always listen, do they?

when you stand 20 feet away from them and say "Hey- Mommy's gonna stand over here for awhile because I'm doing my bad habit; you guys can't be up against me for  a few minutes" how does one know  that her amazing son with strong and luscious arms and legs would try to play  Invisible Monster Tackling Mommy at that precise moment?????

one second I was watching a kid chase a dog,  the next second a kid was jumping me from behind

how come I was the only one that hollered? that kid has insane pain tolerance, his tender flesh to the nicotine pencil on fire so fast, so quick, he insisted it didn't hurt

gimme a break kid, don't try to be a hero, that's gotta suck

after a(nother) lecture on listening to words (and staying away from Mommy when

she's puffing on fire) it seemed all had been forgotten about except for inside me the all-consuming guilt the horrible knowing  that my boo-boo had a boo-boo FROM ME!!!!!!!! NOOOOooooooooo......

I alerted his other mother immediately, because  it's the right thing to do no matter how embarrassing, thank god it's written now for all the world to see it's hard to hide a secret i cannot, i suck at it, well, my secrets anyway others' secrets?

not mine to tell, I'm golden like that.

someone else? secrets for them? dunno. money secrets, sex secrets pay-to-say-nothing secrets cheating secrets other-people-wrote-it secrets so many secrets to hide from  ...point to another circumstance

in hopes they'll stop looking at your secrets laundry day, missus, laundry day.

all my love to the sheet-hangers.

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RELATED: Melissa Etheridge's Ex Also Claims She Gave Up Millions To Be With Melissa!

Melissa Etheridge's ex Tammy Lynn Michaels has been venting in bizarre blog rants and poems. Now, she's claiming that she gave up a lucrative career and millions of dollars to be with Melissa!

She wrote: "It was at this point that I had made an insane amount of money in commercials, and then I landed my regular part on Popular. $15,000 a week, I'll just be honest with all the lovely folk out there who think I made minimum wage before met with a former long-term partner. FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS A WEEK. That's just the first year."

"I got a raise for my second year. $20,000/week for that one. Grab a calculator, do the math, and one might see that I was financially doing PHENOMENALLY before I entered into a relationship where there was another person with money. When I was asked to stop actively seeking work, I was okay with that. There were kids that needed to be tracked and loved and taken care of. Add up my misc. TV adventures here and there, and my sitcom on NBC.... that's another $325,000.... and misc TV... $50K at least. For a total of APPROXIMATELY almost 2 million dollars since 1998. (And I need to specify that I had ZERO work 2002, 2004, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011.)"

"And that's gonna be an issue anyway -- because until the public heard about me through my other famous 'person' at the time, the public THOUGHT I was around 20. COMING OUT not only addressed my personal life directly, but ALSO alerted the 'BIZNESS' that I am TEN YEARS OLDER THAN I WAS ABLE TO PLAY ON TV."

"Sooooooooo -- that took 10 years of work out of my possibilities. People now know that no matter how young I look (I get carded for buying CIGARETTES!!!), the BIZNESS knows I am not 26 now. So I can get my chunky butt into a trainer's hands but then what? I don't look like others' my age.... nobody knows where to book me."

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